Exams are a normal part of school, but for many children they bring real stress. Feeling some pressure can help focus the mind. Too much can get in the way of learning and wellbeing. This guide offers practical ways for parents to help children cope, and signs that it is time to seek more support.
Recognising stress
Stress shows up differently in different children. Look for:
- sleep problems, tiredness or changes in appetite;
- irritability, tearfulness or withdrawing from friends;
- headaches or stomach aches with no clear cause;
- avoiding revision, or, at the other extreme, studying obsessively;
- very negative talk such as "I'm going to fail" or "I'm stupid".
What helps
Keep routines steady. Regular meals, sleep, exercise and time outdoors protect both mood and memory. Sleep matters more than an extra hour of revision.
Make revision manageable. A realistic timetable with breaks is better than vague pressure. Breaking big topics into small tasks makes them feel possible. Our guide to how to revise for GCSE and A-Level has practical methods.
Listen without fixing. Sometimes children need to say how they feel and be heard. Ask open questions and avoid rushing to solutions.
Keep expectations realistic. Children can feel the weight of what parents hope for. Be clear that you value effort and who they are, not just results.
Show that exams are not the end. Talk about options if things do not go to plan, such as resits and other routes. Knowing there is a backup reduces fear.
Look after the home atmosphere. Calm, quiet study space, healthy food and gentle encouragement make a difference. Try not to ask about revision all the time.
On exam day
- Make sure they have what they need the night before, including equipment and an ID if required.
- Keep the morning calm and unhurried, with a proper breakfast.
- Encourage simple breathing techniques if they feel panicky: slow breaths in and out.
- Remind them to read each question, plan, and move on if stuck.
- Afterwards, avoid post-mortems. Move attention to the next paper.
Helping children who need more support
Some children need adjustments, for example extra time. See exam access arrangements. Speak to the school early, because arrangements need evidence and approval.
When to seek help
Talk to the school, such as the form tutor, head of year or pastoral team, and consider your GP if:
- your child is persistently very low, anxious or hopeless;
- they are not sleeping or eating properly for an extended period;
- they have panic attacks or avoid school or exams;
- you are worried about their safety.
If you are ever concerned that a child may be at risk of harm, seek urgent help from your GP, emergency services or a crisis line right away.
Where tutoring fits
Tutoring can reduce stress by giving a child clarity and a regular routine, with someone encouraging and explaining. It should never add pressure. A good tutor focuses on understanding, builds confidence and keeps you informed. See private tutoring, and read how to tell when your child needs a tutor.
Afterwards
Celebrate the end of exams with something enjoyable. Whatever the results, results day goes more smoothly with a plan in place.